Tuesday headlines, with Rachel Bilson in leather shorts

KATIE HOLMES – is not pregnant, according to her rep, who says the picture that started this rumor, “looks doctored”. To which Tom Cruise nervously asked, “Wait, so are you saying it’s fake or that the doctor made her pregnant again?” (e!)

KELLY BROOK – was nearly 5 months pregnant with her first child yesterday when she suffered a miscarriage. “Show your tits”, I tried not to think but couldn’t help myself. (ok!)

DINOSAURS VS ALIENS – is the latest result of Hollywood randomly combining characters and themes from other, better movies (such as teens + zombies + vampires vs. aliens or Abraham Lincoln vs. vampires or cowboy + ninja + viking or cowboys vs. aliens or Jane Austen vs. zombies or robots vs. zombies or Leonardo DaVinci vs. demons) because that’s way easier than thinking up new ones. Coming soon: Jesus vs. Predator, and Hitlers brain in a dragon vs. big tittied bikini Supergirl. (deadline)

REAL STEEL – now has a full length trailer that explains much more about why you’ll hate this. (yahoo)

PAUL MCCARTNEY – will not have a pre-nup when he marries fiance Nancy Shevell, despite the fact that his 2008 divorce from Heather Mills cost him $40 million. “She let’s me stick it anywhere,” he explained. (daily mail)

RACHEL BILSON – was also at the Chanel fashion show in France yesterday. So I guess that was Mila Kunis I fucked last night. I always get them mixed up.