Charlie Sheen wants Mila Kunis to be his third “goddess”

When you surround yourself with one kind of person long enough, you start to think all people are like that. Date a bunch of dirty whores for a year or two, then go out with an accountant and she’s gonna look pretty surprised when you nonchalantly pound it in her ass.

In a related story, Charlie Sheen went on stage last night in Columbus, Ohio, and announced that he wants MIla Kunis to be his third girlfriend, along with the porn star and marijuana model. The Huffington Post says…

“Here’s the good news – my goddesses have already f**king approved her. She’s pre-approved!” Sheen said.
“I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila f**king Kunis: If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t , trust me, you’re still f**king winning, you’re still winning at that moment.”
Sheen told the audience how he plans on luring her.
“I’m going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes,” Sheen said. “I’m going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. A super f**king hot thief named Mila Kunis. Mila, please, we we have a warehouse full of your favorite s**t to steal.”

I wonder if that’s why he was scaring Sarah Hyland a few weeks ago. She looks like an adolescent Mila Kunis. More importantly; really? People are really paying to see this jackass ramble on about nothing? I’m Irish. If I wanted to see some abusive drunk take off his shirt and scream profanity I’d go to my family reunions.

(image source = splash news)