Lindsay Lohan failed 2 drug tests. Or maybe none.

Late this afternoon it was reported by multiple sources that Lindsay Lohan tested positive for cocaine during a drug test as part of her probation, but Lohan tells Us magazine that those reports are a lie, and everyone is crazy. And yes, that is the exact same thing she says every single time she gets caught doing something.

Lohan told Us.com Friday: “I’m fine. They’re all nuts.”
Indeed, no authorities could confirm the report.
(The L.A. County Sheriff’s Dept. says they) “haven’t been officially notified by anyone” about a failed test.
The L.A. Superior court said, “nothing has been filed or anything entered into the court calendar.”

In the spirit of giving her the benefit of the doubt, the LA Times has 3 sources telling them that her test is being investigated, but nothing is official.

(Sources) said that law enforcement is trying to determine whether Lohan failed a court-ordered drug test.
They stressed the investigation is ongoing and said no official determination has been made that she did take illicit drugs.

Now that we’ve given her the benefit of the doubt, lock that bitch up because she did it. The New York Daily News, People, E! and TMZ have all confirmed that she failed a test. Actually, TMZ is now saying she failed 2.

Sources connected with the case tell us Lindsay failed another test as well — we’re told it was not for cocaine, but they would not be more specific.
…the tests were both conducted within a short span of each other.

She’s supposed to get 30 days in jail for each count of violating her probation. LA County’s pussy sheriff will of course do all he can to let her out as fast as possible, but the judge can strike any possibility of early release (which they did with Paris Hilton) if he choses.

So, um, is no one gonna pick her up? If it’s positive, is no one gonna pick her up? Because she has a Porsche now. And it can go like 800 miles per hour. And she’s drunk and high. Again. Remember when she had all those DUI’s? And accidents. It, it just seems dangerous to, you know, just to let her go all apeshit, and race around drunk and high, which we know with 100 percent certainty she will do if no one stops her.

No? Okay, well, um, good luck everyone in LA. Hope Lindsay doesn’t run you over this weekend. We’re all pullin for you.