Heidi Montag wants her implants out

Having DDD implants is literally the one and only thing that makes Heidi Montag interesting in any way. Before she got those I banned her from the site (two weeks before E! did the same). But huge breasts makes girls more tolerable, so now she’s back. For now.

?Heidi Montag sat down exclusively with Life & Style to tell-all about her plastic surgery regrets, revealing that she wants her outrageous G implants removed.
“I’m desperate to go back to normal. I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D.”
More than nine months after she went under the knife on Nov. 20, Heidi says she is still in severe pain and her body has not gotten used to the over the top boob job. “I have major anxiety about it. I was taking painkillers but they weren’t working so I stopped. It hurt either way,”
Besides being unable to hug her four dogs or wear anything but custom-made clothing, “I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs,” she says. “It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.”
And while Heidi is currently shopping for a surgeon in South America, she worries that she’ll be trapped in this cartoonish body forever. “I feel trapped in my own body.”

So, to recap, Heidi, who doesn’t speak Spanish, is looking for a plastic surgeon in South America, whose leading exports are drugs, drugs, shortstops, drugs, kids who can chase a chicken down the street, and drugs.

Even if I wasn’t incredibly racist, this would be a terrible idea. She’s a Nordic-looking princess with huge tits, and she wants to take her clothes off and get drugged. The white slavery rings are gonna think it’s Christmas morning.

(image source of heidi on the set of the adam sandler movie ‘just go with it’ back in march = splash and pcn)