Lindsay Lohans only crime was trusting too much

Doctors treating Lindsay Lohan at the UCLA rehab facility reportedly feel that she was misdiagnosed several years ago for ADHD and should not have been placed on Adderall.

Why is that so bad? What can happen to people who take Adderall when they don’t need it? Well, according to this bullshit on TMZ…

(They) can experience similar effects as people who use cocaine or methamphetamine.
(They) can display manic symptoms and often do things like “driving around until all hours of the morning, smoking, heavily tweeting, and texting all night long. They can become very impulsive.”
“(They) might complain of insomnia and then take Ambien or other sleep aids to help fall asleep. It’s a vicious cycle”
(A second) expert tells us alcohol abuse is also very common among patients who take Adderall.
“The Adderall counteracts the sedative side effects of alcohol use … making these people often drink more than someone who does not take the drug.”

Jesus Christ, did they just go to the drug companies that compete with Adderall and ask for a quote? Are Lindsays parents on Adderall too, is that why they lie constantly, never accept responsibility, drink, do drugs and go to jail? Here’s another theory: Lindsay acts like a drunken asshole because she’s white trash.

But in case they’re right, you should know that I took some Adderall this morning too. So if you wake up tomorrow in a world where clouds of black ash choke out the sun and talking gorillas keep us in cages as slaves, you’ll know why. It was the Adderall.

(the pictures are promos for ‘machete’, in case you couldn’t tell)