I hope the ambulance crashes

Lying drama-queen Jenna Jameson was taken away in an ambulance last night, strapped down in a stretcher by an army of paramedics and then rushed to safety, because someone else had a tummy ache. Jenna was fine. There was nothing wrong with her. There was nothing wrong with anyone actually. But she was strapped into a stretcher as the paparazzi took pictures of it because an unrelated second party needed a sip of water. PopEater says…

Jameson was alone with one-year-old Journey when he became ill shortly after 11PM. She believed calling 911 for an ambulance was the appropriate action given the circumstances. Journey is one of Jameson’s two boys fathered by Tito Ortiz.
Journey was released a few hours after being hydrated by hospital staff. Doctors believe the boy is most likely suffering from the stomach flu.

I’d like to point out that she’s supporting her child with her right arm, the one Tito allegedly hurt. Anyway…

I got into an argument with a girl this weekend who said Jameson was telling the truth and Tito must have hit her because a woman would never lie about something this serious.

I could hardly believe my ears. Women love lying about things this serious. It’s when they’re happiest. All women are black hearted godless monsters, and they feed on (sales at Prada and) holding the threat of a 911 call filled with lies over men like it’s the sword of Damocles. Lying is fuel to them, like a giant evil robot who shovels childrens Christmas toys into a furnace in its stomach, and then it goes “RAWRR!” and smashes some shit.

If not for AIDS and redneck beatings, I bet gay guys would live to be hundreds of years old. 300, at least. Their lives would be a stress free utopia. This must be why gay guys are so comfortable on their knees, because they see the way women act and they drop down in praise several times a day to thank God for this wonderful gift.

EMAIL KNOW-IT-ALL UPDATE – I’m far too stuck up to ever admit I was wrong, but here’s a contrary opinion on why Jenna was strapped to a stretcher. Also, top medical experts now declare that Jenna Jameson is a dumb slut. Drew says, “i’m a paramedic in orange county … it’s actually our protocal to have the parent hold the kid, and put them both on the gurney. although a stomach ache call is basically bull shit and shes a big dumb slut, i just wanted to let you know it is protocal.”

(picture source = splash news online)