friday morning headlines

HAYDEN PANETTIERE – is in Taiji, Japan (again) to protest the annual dolphin slaughter. Asians could argue they’re the best race because of their contributions to science, engineering, architecture, and pussy, but they lose points for terrible music and INSAAANE violence. Do you god damn Japs have to slaughter everything you see? As an American, I feel like we should annihilate the Japanese because they’re different. (yahoo)

TOM HANKS – says WWII was racist and America was out to annihilate the Japanese “because they were different”. Oh no, Tom Hanks is on to me! Wait. No he’s not. I really hope this was out of context. Otherwise, stfu Tom Hanks. They didn’t drop Hello Kittys and anime on Pearl Harbor. (fox)

KATE HUDSON – will branch out and star in ‘Something Borrowed’, a romantic comedy co-starring John Krasinski. I can say without hesitation this will be the worst movie of the year. They shouldn’t even waste the film, and skip right to releasing it on the radio or as an MP3. (variety)

BAR REFAELI – is why the internet is so awesome. Here she is in lingerie for some reason I didn’t care about. If I wanted to see women in clothes, I would just leave my house. This is way better.