just stfu lindsay

Lindsay Lohan broke down the walls and bared her soul in a very revealing interview this weekend with the Sun. She talked about her troubled past, how she beat her addictions to drugs and alcohol, and what she’s learned from her misspent youth. A few quotes…

– “My past is my past and it’s been a long one, but I’m growing more and learning more day by day. I’m not the same person and I don’t make the same mistakes.”
– “I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs and I don’t lie. I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it.”
– “I’m really a good person and I have a good heart and just want to work.”

I’m just screwing with you. Those are all from an interview with E! twelve months ago. Here are the quotes from this weekend…

– “I tried to mask my problems with alcohol, cocaine and mind-altering substances. Now I’m in a place where I don’t need to use anything and I can feel emotions because I choose to.”
– “I learnt from my mistakes and I’m now healthy and happier. I never want to be close to losing everything I worked for and aspired to have my whole life.”
– “There are certain situations where I have obligations. There’s no reason to (drink) because I don’t want to feel like s*** in the morning.”

For the record, between the time when she said she didn’t drink or do drugs and just wanted to work 12 months ago and when she said the same things this weekend, she’s been in a fist fight with her gay lover, went drinking until 4am with her 15 year old sister, took $15,000 in clothes from Kitson, stole and drank two bottle of champagne from Crown Bar, maybe did coke in a bathroom, got called before a judge because she wasn’t fulfilling the obligations of her parol, was late for court because she was out drinking until 2am the night before, left a bar drunk at 3:30am with her 15-year-old sister and threw beer cans at the paparazzi, got kicked out of her New York hotel for screaming and throwing a room service tray against the door of a complete stranger, took her 15-year-old sister to bars until 1am, drank until 6am then got in a fight with her lesbian lover, drank vodka and curled up in a ball on the floor of a club in London.

That doesn’t even cover the entire 12 months. That only goes back to June. Does anyone actually believe this dumb bitch? My dog could tell me that I was the angel of purification and I needed to shoot my coworkers, and it would still seem less insane than Lindsay telling me that she doesn’t drink.