you will never see jessica or lindsay naked

This kind of thing may have been disappointing 3 years ago, but now that she’s doubled in size, Jessica Simpson and I agree; no one deserves to see what’s under her clothing. She tells Allure magazine…

“I will never do nudity . . . I don’t care if I frickin’ could get an Oscar for it, I’m not going to do it. Those accolades mean nothing to me. I don’t think people deserve to see what’s under my clothing. That’s only for my next husband.”

This is pretty close to what Lindsay Lohan said in 2005, back before you could see her in a nude scene.

“You will never see me in a nude scene. Then there’s no mystery for my private life. I don’t think that’s what needed to win an Oscar for me. Personally…I think there’s other things you can do to show people that you have talent.”

I should watch more Oscar nominated movies, because according to Lindsay and Jessica, all the actresses show their tits in them. That’s why they get nominated. It’s really just a championship trophy for Best Tits. Didn’t Anna Paquin win when she was like 7? These Hollywood people are a bunch of damn perverts.