thursday night headlines

JON GOSSELIN – has a tiny penis, according to his ex girlfriend, Halley Glassman. “He’s hung like a nine-year-old boy. It’s so tiny, tiny, tiny. (I) would laugh about it with my mom.” Jon Gosselin had no comment, the beginning of 6 months without mentioning her, so that when she ends up dead he won’t look like a suspect. (us.com)

ANGELINA JOLIE – paid $20,000 for a 200-year-old olive tree to give to Brad Pitt for Valentines Day, because it’s a sign of peace and longevity. That may sound like a lot, and you can pay 15 grand for an olive tree, but only if you want a complete piece of shit. (wonder wall)

JOHN MAYER – stopped his concert last night to give a tear-soaked apology for some of the things he said in his Playboy interview. Crying in public like this should only strengthen his fan base in the hood. (foundry)

LADY GAGA – may lose some of her goofy outfits because her favorite designer, Alexander McQueen, was found dead today of an apparent suicide. Actually he hung himself, so I don’t know why its’ being called an “apparent suicide”. He either killed himself or he really sucks at making rope swings. (pop eater)

FINALLY, PART 2 – After days of crappy lo-res SI Swimsuit Issue pictures, finally some decent scans have shown up online. Unfortunately, other than Brooklyn Decker, the models this year kind of suck, so this is a real mixed blessing. (si.com)

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