this is gross

The Sun is reporting that Madonna and her boyfriend Jesus Luz broke up yesterday and surprisingly enough it was Jesus who initiated the split, saying the difference in their age was too much to overcome. Which is sort of the point to this. It’s weird enough that she’s 51 and he’s 23, but there’s a line between “weird” and “skin-crawlingly creepy”. And this is that line:

Madonna is 14 years older than Jesus’ mother.

I don’t mean to brag, but I only threw up once while picturing myself having sex with a woman 14 years older than my mom. I should be in some kind of tough man contest.