portrait of a lady

Now that she’s put on a hundred pounds, you may think Jessica Simpsons transformation is complete, and there’s no way she could get any sexier. Well now there’s this from Us.com, making you look like a fool.

“While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart,” says the insider.
“Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, ‘Jessica!’ The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say.”

Nice job fatty. Thanks a lot. The only way Jessica could have looked like any more of a fat tub of shit is if they had turned around to track the noise and Jessica was slowly easing her ass back down on the seat after lifting one leg up and while she was doing that she was also biting into a fried drumstick dripping with hot fudge, a bowl of which was on the table in front of her in between a bowl of marshmallow sauce and a bowl with those candied sprinkles.