the innocent looking ones are always sneaky

Elin Nordegren hasn’t made any public statements since her husband Tiger Woods crashed his car into a tree Thanksgiving weekend, so we may never know exactly what happened that night. We may never know exactly how she discovered he was having an affair and what she did when she learned the truth.

Or we’ll found out right now, starting with the very next sentence.

(On the night the National Enquirer broke the story of Tigers affair with Rachel Uchitel), the two argued. Tiger decided to end the bickering by taking Ambien and going to sleep.
After Woods fell asleep, Elin looked through his cellphone, both sources confirmed. There she found text messages to Uchitel’s number—Uchitel was apparently listed in Tiger’s cellphone under her real name—and among them she discovered one that said, “You are the only one I’ve loved.” 
Shortly after 1 a.m. in Florida, Elin began texting Uchitel, pretending to be Tiger, according to both sources. Elin wrote, “I miss you,” and asked, “When are we seeing each other again?” 
Uchitel texted back, seemingly surprised that Woods was awake. Elin specifically felt, one source told me, that this response indicated that the two of them spoke earlier that night, before Tiger took his Ambien. At that point, Elin called Uchitel, who answered thinking it was Tiger calling. Both sources said that Elin said something approximating, “I knew it was you.”
Uchitel’s surprised reply, according to what Elin told one source: “Oh f–k.” She immediately hung up.
Normally quiet and controlled, Elin later told one source she became enraged and woke Tiger by screaming at him. He seemed disoriented, still in a stupor from the Ambien. The fight ratcheted up quickly.
But then chaos ensued when she grabbed his cellphone when he came out after locking himself in the bathroom for several minutes. Both sources confirm that Tiger had apparently, shortly after waking up, sent another short text to Uchitel warning that Elin had uncovered the affair, that he was about to pack, and that a divorce might be imminent. 
Elin didn’t tell Woods what she’d seen, one source says. She simply exploded, trying to hit him on the chest and arms with her fists, and then finally chasing him from the house while she wielded a golf club. Shoeless, he ran into the car and barreled out of the driveway before careening off a fire hydrant and then smashing into a tree.

It’s simply fantastic to picture Elin with a golf club and Tiger getting chased around the house like when Tom would chase Jerry with a fireplace shovel. Especially since he was high on Ambien. He probably had no idea WTF was going on. The only way it could be any better is if she was chasing him, just a step behind, smashing mirrors and vases while flailing away with the golf club but wearing a werewolf or devil mask or something like that. That would be freaky under any circumstances, but in an Ambien haze you would think someone was trying to skin and eat you.