tiger woods plays golf by himself at night

Tiger Woods reportedly agreed to give up golf to prove himself to his wife Elin Nordegren, but he agreed to stop nailing other women when he got married too, so, you know. Tiger takes vows like this as more of a guide than anything else. Us magazine says…

(A neighbor said Tiger) has been spotted “coming by in the early evenings only for their counseling and therapy.”
After those grueling sessions — which a source describes as the golfer “just apologizing over and over again” — Woods heads to a nearby course to hit golf balls “to clear his head,” another local says. “He goes after dark so he can’t be seen. For him, what’s more therapeutic than hitting golf balls, the thing he’s best at in the whole world?”

What’s more therapeutic than Tiger reliving segregation and sneaking onto a golf course in the dark? Tons of things actually. Number one would be having some blond 20-year-old D-cup stranger with her hand down your pants. That sounds relaxing as hell. If I were Tiger I would just go back to that. Then he wouldn’t be knocked unconscious after whacking a golf ball off a brick wall because he thought he was facing the other direction.