afternoon headlines

LADY GAGA – says she’s more than just eye candy. “My album covers are not sexual at all … The last thing a young woman needs is another picture of a sexy pop star writhing in sand, covered in grease, touching herself.” Actually that might be good for young girls. Being as sexy as Lady GaGa is an entirely attainable goal, like having a goal to touch your toes or “look at this.” (elle)

MATT DAMON – will not make another Jason Bourne movie without director Paul Greengrass, who walked away from the franchise this week because he and the studio can’t agree on a script. As if anyone can tell those movies apart anyway. (hollywood reporter)

KALIKA MOQUIN – is a marketing manager for The Bank nightclub in Las Vegas, but more to the point she might have been having an affair with Tiger Woods that ended in October. Even more surprising is that someone named “Kalika” is white. How the hell did that happen? (las)

RACHEL UCHITEL – is seen in these pictures at a club in the Hamptons three months ago. I’m starting to see the appeal. A good way to gauge if your implants are the right size is if you have to constantly lean backwards so you don’t tip over. Mission Accomplished! (splash)