paltrow cant compete with kate bosworth

Kate Bosworth gets forgotten about, but she’s terrific. She’s sexy as hell, while at the same time, if she were any cuter she would technically be a panda in a cowboy hat. Gwyneth Paltrow on the other hand is a mean old bitch who looks like a ghost you would see near a Civil War graveyard.

Keeping these two indisputable facts in mind, it’s no wonder that Paltrows husband is cheating on her with Bosworth. Star magazine says…

“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” an eyewitness tells Star. “There was Chris (Martin) totally making out with Kate in front of other people. At first I thought it might be Gwyneth, but when she came up for air, it was clear the woman was Kate!”

Despite what you may have heard, sex with a pot-bellied big-toothed ghost leaves a lot to be desired. I don’t know if Martin really is cheating on Paltrow, but yes, Martin is 100 percent really cheating on Paltrow. Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he? She’s a damn monster.

(picture source = pacific coast and getty)