do not rent to kevin federline

Kevin Federline seems like a great guy of course, but you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, because apparently he caused over $100,000 in damage to the house he was renting in Tarzana, and bailed on the last 6 months of rent on top of that. The damage he left behind includes…

– Gutters full of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles
– A broken beer dispenser on the barbecue island
– Permanent spit marks on exterior paint
– Broken light covers
– Bent light posts
– Broken tiles
– Dead trees and plants due to failure to water
– Drawings all over the walls
– A room that was turned into a studio (without the owners’ permission)
– Broken dishwasher … with broken baskets
– Dismantled smoke detectors
– Front driveway oil-leak damage
– Master bathroom windows tinted (without owners’ permission)

The one that really haunts me is “permanent spit marks on exterior paint”. How many STDs does this dude have where his spit has evolved into some toxic poison that can eat through paint? Jesus he’s like that little dinosaur in the first Jurassic Park. Someone go scare him. I bet he has one of those neck frills too.