jude law wants a dna test

24-year-old model Sam Burke (pictured yesterday in Florida) gave birth to a baby girl last Tuesday, and for months it’s been reported that the father is 36-year-old Jude Law, but now he’s demanding a DNA test. Hopefully through a crooked lab that can be bribed to fix the results. He’s also had meetings with several assassins.

“If he is the father he will meet his obligations to the child. He’s hoping for an early chance to establish that he is genuinely her dad.”
Sam has told friends Jude paid for antenatal care and for the birth, but the friend added: “It was an act of kindness rather than an admission that he was the dad.”
Sam’s representatives are now negotiating a six-figure deal for pictures of the baby, but Jude’s lawyers have asked her not to talk to the media until they agree a financial package if the baby is confirmed as his.

If there were a test to determine that neither one of them should be raising a child, it would be that last paragraph. Just read that out loud. Don’t change a word.