Everyone loves Gwyneth Paltrow

You and Gwyneth Paltrow probably agree that Gwyneth Paltrow is an amazing woman, but now “corporate America” is on the bandwagon too, and they’re tripping all over themselves to get featured on GOOP, the website that all America is buzzing about. Gwyneth laid down some facts in this interview with People.

GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow’s weekly newsletter is a “big success,” according to Paltrow.  “It’s crazy … crazy!” Paltrow said. “I just love it. Corporate America is knocking at my door‘ … Will you hawk my product’?” The answer is clearly no for the star’s very personal project, which even derives its name from her initials G.P.
“It is really just a place to disseminate good information. People are so grateful that it’s free.  It’s just nice to share what you have.  And I have all this great information. It’s just a gift.  People want me to do all this other stuff. But right now, I just really love doing the site.”

Let’s just put our cards on the table: none of those things are happening, no one is glad it’s free, no one wants to be on her condescending website, and everyone hates Gwyneth Paltrow. It’s why she wasn’t on the cover of EW and it’s why she wasn’t part of the “Iron Man” panel at Comic Con (video here).

More importantly, no one wants her stupid advice, because her idea of advice is telling you that Paris is lovely and a $2000 cashmere coat is comfortable.  That’s not advice, that’s thinly veiled bragging.  It would be like a website about my penis being enormous, and here are some shorts with generous inseams, and here are some good relaxation techniques you can try if for some reason your girlfriend can’t fit an 18-inch cock into her mouth.