Paula deserves a raise

It goes without saying that Paula Abdul never has any idea WTF she’s talking about. I’ve seen what people look like when they’re high. What they look like is exactly like this. Which is a real hurdle when your contract is up and your job is to offer lucid commentary and pointed advice. The LA Times says…

“Very sadly, it does not appear that she’s going to be back on ‘American Idol,’ ” David Sonenberg, Abdul’s manager, told The Times when contacted about the judge’s contract negotiations.
With auditions for the ninth season due to start Aug. 6, Sonenberg says he doesn’t even have a proposal for a new contract.
“I find it under these circumstances particularly unusual; I think unnecessarily hurtful,” he said of the contract holdup. “I find it kind of unconscionable and certainly rude and disrespectful that they haven’t stepped up and said what they want to do.”

Paula wants a 300 percent raise because the “rude and disrespectful” company only paid her 2.5 million last year. Keep in mind all she does is confuse the people she’s supposed to be helping. It’s like she thinks she’s there to throw the contestants off track. Like it’s a trick to see how much they can overcome. She was asked once about her approach to judging:

Paula Abdul: “One trick is to tell ’em stories that don’t go anywhere – like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ’em. “Give me five bees for a quarter,” you’d say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…”