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And here we go
July 7, 2009 | bikini | editor | 0 Comments
I’m just gonna add pictures and updates here all day. All the networks are running live coverage of course. In fact one just said if the dam were to break, thousands would be killed almost instantly. But that’s because I was watching Mega Disasters on The History Channel instead.
9:54am – Michael Jacksons golden casket has just arrived at Staples Center. The memorial will not be on time, but is expected to last well over 90 minutes. There appears to be no new information about the dam. Won’t someone help those poor people!
10:05am – The memorial is now running about one hour late, but look at these pictures of Forest Lawn (here and here), where he’ll be buried. Look how pretty that shit is. I wish I was dead. That looks way better than where I live now.
10:13am – Despite all the hype about getting tickets, news reports are saying there are huge gaps of empty seats inside of Staples, and now tickets are being handed out for free. I hope those reports about the dam didn’t scare people away.
10:25am – The Kardashians, Kobe Bryant, Mike Tyson, some girl with nice tits, and Akon have now arrived (pictures on the other side). Akon was searched and frisked on the way in, deservedly so.
10:26am – the family has taken their seats inside of Staples.
10:33am – The ceremony just began. Gospel choir singing “We’re going to see the king.” Gold casket. Huge sets. It’s true. Michael Jackson was the finest man who ever lived.
10:57am – Holy Christ. We’re going to be here for days aren’t we.
11:03am – The guy from the Uncle Bens rice box needs to wrap the hell up.
11:05am – “What it needs is more Black. People. Talking. Like. This.”
11:06am – that last one was in an email from Beth and Val.
11:16am – Magic Johnson said Michael made him a better point guard. That’s not hyperbole. I truly believe him.
11:19am – that fried chicken story would have been way more interesting if a white guy had told it.
11:33am – I don’t think Al Sharpton has any idea who Michael Jackson is, because Michael didn’t do any of the shit Al just said he did.
11:36am – Why are the Jackson brothers all dressed alike? Just once it would be nice if this family did something that wasn’t completely fuckin weird and creepy.
11:53am – it’s Cleveland from Family Guy! “Sweesptreets … (pause) … (pause) … likeShakespearewrotepoetry.”
11:59am – “If faces could smile…” Seriously?
12:18pm – hey it’s that little kid from Britains Got Talent. It’s fitting because Michael sang this same song when he was a little kid. Also, he used to fuck little kids.
12:38pm – So Michael invited that little boy to join him in London, huh? Oh, gosh, there’s a fuckin surprise.
12:25pm – AHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT THING SINGING AT THE BEGINNING OF WE ARE THE WORLD!
12:29pm – This. Music. Is absolutely fucking awful.
12:33pm – People actually like this shitty “Heal the World” crap? It’s like fucking Raffi. Most of this dudes music sort of sucked, I don’t know why everyone is ignoring that.
12:42pm – his kids are actually cute. God they are so screwed.
