I appreciate the effort

“Hayden Panettiere” can be a tricky name to spell correctly, so if you’re one of those internet dorks who carry on and on about how hot and sexy she is, a good trick is to replace the words “Hayden” and “Panettiere” with the words “Spider” and “Man”. The end result is the same. Saying you love Hayden or saying you love Spiderman both just mean you’ve never touched or talked to or maybe even seen a human girl in real life.

When she went on Letterman yesterday she wore a dress that won the gold medal in the category of Giving Me An Erection, and you other celebrities need to be more like her and put some GD effort into your public appearances, but she’s still boring and average.  There’s nothing wrong with her per se (other than maybe having a penis bigger than mine) but there’s nothing great about her either.

You ever been to a car show and when they announced Best of Show the winner was a beige 2004 Camry with 130,000 miles on it?  No?  Exactly.  That’s Hayden.  She’s the beige Camry of Hollywood.

(17 more pics here.  hq jump here.  image source = splash news online and wenn)