You stay classy OK! magazine

The English version of OK! magazine hits today with what they say are the last pictures of Michael Jackson. At first that makes you feel dirty, but then you see they wrote “with all our love and prayers”, in all caps, next to the picture of him dead. I thought that was really touching.

Over here in the colonies, Star magazine says Liza Minnelli is hinting that major revelations about Jackson will come out over the next few days. Try and guess if they’re good.

“Liza was so close to Michael Jackson that he was in her bridal party (for her 2002 wedding to David Gest) and now she hints that there’s inside information about the singer that is going to get out when his autopsy results are released.
‘All those who knew him well really know what he was like, and I’m sure that now the accolades are going and I’m sure when the autopsy comes, all hell’s going to break loose,’ Liza said cryptically. ‘So thank God we’re celebrating him now.'”

She didn’t elaborate further, but I think we can guess. That’s right. Michael Jackson had heat-ray vision and the power of flight.