McConaughey looks like a fool

I bet Mario Lopez is gonna have a good laugh when he sees Matthew McConaughey throwing out the first pitch at last nights Dodgers game. “What is he doing, haha!”, Mario will probably say. “Why is he on the mound? You’re supposed to scooch way way up, like I did (1). Or like that 100 pound girl from “the Hills” (2). Or the Kardashian girls (3). And then spaz out when you throw it, as if you were a retard trying to catch a butterfly (4).”

“52-year-old Tom Hanks made the same silly mistake last week in Japan (5). So did 62-year-old President Bush when he threw that strike after 911 (6). The Dodgers must have played a joke on Matt. They told me the same thing. They said, ‘don’t you think people will notice that you’re a boy and you’re standing in the middle of the grass like a woman?’ But I don’t think anyone noticed. I was very sensible. It’s dangerous to throw from the mound. It’s too far, and I heard that rubber strip is made of poison.”

(image source = splash)