britney is a master criminal

People magazine says that Britneys “life has gone from soap opera to spy novel” after the testimony yesterday in court by Sam Luftis sister Christina, who said Britney contacted her to secretly attain a prepaid cell phone to make calls without her fathers knowledge.

"[Britney] told me she wanted to get a hold of Sam," said Christina, 25, whose brother had once been Spears's manager. "She wanted him to help her find a lawyer, and wanted someone to get a prepaid cell phone to her. She was scared because her father was blackmailing her with visitation rights over her kids."Spears allegedly told Christina to meet her on the fifth floor gym of the Peninsula Hotel on Jan. 16. When Christina arrived, Spears was working out with her mother while a bodyguard stood nearby. But they rendezvoused in a sauna where Christina gave her a phone.The phone, however, was later discovered by Spears's security team and confiscated from her purse.

Look People magazine, I like you, but don’t god damn tease me about spy novels and then tell me a girl got a cell phone but now she doesn’t have a cell phone The End.  I’ve never read a spy novel, but I have read several issues of Busty Foxes magazine and I got diabetes and scurvy when GoldenEye 007 came out on Nintendo, so I’m an expert on girls and spies, and I assure you that never once did James Bond hide in the sauna from his mom.