evening headlines

KATY PERRY – On Friday, because of this, I forgot for a few seconds why I think I would punch Katy Perry.  Oh, wait.  Yeah here we go: “I fart a lot.  I'm hopping around. I'm a little gassy.  I don't care.  It's my stage.”  You know what, I don’t care how big her tits are … um, okay I very much do care, but god damn is she annoying.  (source = the sun USA)

GWYNETH PALTROW – Gwyneth is opening a gym in NYC, and it's pretty much exactly what you might expect from her.  One person asked to join said, “It's ridiculous. Membership is like $4500 to join and then hundreds of dollars a month. Who can afford that right now?”  Paltrow is so far removed from reality, when the woman said 4500 was too high, Paltrow probably thought she was retarded, and showed her pictures of an apple and a duck.  “Can you say duck.  Duuuck.  Duck.  The duck says quack.”  (source – sydney morning herald)

ANNA FARIS – this chick is really really funny.  And she looks like this.  And in this months GQ, she talks about all the weed she smokes. If she got any more perfect it would turn out she can fly.  (source = GQ)