chris brown might walk

It now seems possible that Chris Brown will not serve even one day in jail after beating up Rihanna and threatening to kill her.  Despite witnesses who heard the fight and pictures of Rihanna taken after that show, "contusions on the face, swollen eyes, cut lip, bloody nose, bite marks on her fingers and arm", he may not even be prosecuted.  Here’s how:

during the argument, he started hitting her. According to the police report, she ordered him to drive her home and "faked a call" to someone, saying things like, "He's dropping me off. Make sure the cops are there."Rihanna told cops the fake call enraged Brown. He said something to the effect of "You are really fucked up now. I'm going to kill you." At that point Brown allegedly began a violent attack with his fists. We're told the criminal threats charge is based on that one statement (threat) Brown allegedly made. As one law enforcement source told us, "It's kinda weak, and the D.A. is not going to prosecute a high profile case like this unless it's solid." That's why it was kicked back for further investigation.Given the brutal nature of the attack a felony domestic battery charge is virtually a done deal. That, however, is a less serious offense than making criminal threats.

MediaTakeOut however points out that Felony Domestic Battery does not apply here because that law only applies to a spouse, former spouse, cohabitant, former co-habitant, or the mother or father of his or her child. Brown and Rihanna don’t live together, aren’t married, and don’t have a child.

Now we're down to simple assault, which carries a six month sentence.  Brown is a first time offender, and the defense will argue Rihanna instigated the fight, making this tough for a DA to prosecute. 

So, in summation, being the DA in Los Angeles sounds relaxing.  Because apparently you don’t really do anything.  Someone says, a famous singer beat up his equally famous girlfriend.  And you say, oh no.  Then you roll back over in your hammock and sip a mai tai from a coconut.  *yawn*  So sleepy.