leave jessica alone!

Noted women’s rights advocate Ashlee Simpson has taken to her myspace to defend her newly fat and unattractive sister.  Ashlee says:

I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard.Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?I seriously doubt it.How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?Now can we focus on the things that really matter.

Wait, is she implying Jessica is a size 2?  You know what, I don’t even care, what I care about is Jessica getting back to how she looked as Daisy Duke.  This is ridiculous.  How could Jess do this to me?  She might as well have stepped up to my erection and put a cigarette out on it, or slammed it in a book.