salma hayek at the golden globes

I was gone all day yesterday so by the time I got done watching the Steelers and Eagles games on dvr, the Golden Globes were almost over, and thank god too because that meant I could watch that insufferable crap at 3x speed and skip over the endless ass kissing. Keep in mind, 2 out of every 3 movies in Hollywood suck beyond all human comprehension.  They make 500 movies a year, and 20 weren’t completely awful, so they stand around in million dollar shoes and pat themselves on the back over it.  I dare you to pull that shit in the real world.  I dare you to try to rock that percentage if you’re a nurse or mechanic.  Go ahead and kill 90 percent of your patients, then sit back at the end of the year and wait for the accolades to roll in, wait for your moment to cry and yell, "I did it, I'm number 1!"  See how that works out.  But since I'm forced to watch that shit, here are some notes from 3x speed.  

– Steven Spielberg won something, probably a lifetime achievement award.  This one made me squeal with delight.  That poor man never gets any credit.     – Salma Hayek has some enormous tits.  And I bet she does anal because I assume all Latin girls do anal.  Because they have big asses and I figure there's just more room for my penis to fit.  You take some 100 pound Thai girl, she’s 4 inches in diameter, she’s tight as a drum, there’s no where for the penis to go, there’s no room.  But Latin girls are thicker, you could shove a chair leg up there and I don’t think they’d even notice.    I should note I'm not technically a doctor.

And I guess that was about it.