Bella Thorne in A Bikini Seems Enhanced

Confirming Bella Thorne has fake tits is less disappointing than it is a cold confirmation of the popularity sciences. Ever since her parents Dominican Little League doctored her birth certificate so she could try out for Disney roles at eight with a developed girls body, she’s been on the ‘there’s no going back to Orlando’ track. Demi Lovato was bulimic at six. Selena Gomez’ mom had to teach her daughter how to blow a purple dinosaur at seven. Success doesn’t happen by accident in any endeavor. Don’t think those Chinese kids taking all the good tech jobs weren’t leaving grade school everyday for another three hours of math studies at after-school academies. How’s that 9U AYSO soccer trophy working out for you in job interviews? Fake tits won’t get you into Google Product Development. Think American Apparel junior manager. Screaming bikini victim in shitty horror movies is taken for the next five years.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Splash