Selena Gomez in A Bikini

When resources run tight in the future because we subsidized far too many Mayan art and gender studies college educations, we can use social media follows lists as a smart means of culling the herd. Selena Gomez just passed Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift, and Rihanna for the single most followed digital age golden calf on Instagram. 75 million followers. Those can’t all be real, but real enough where it counts, being paid beau coup dollars by every teen girl merchant in existence to push product. It’s unclear what her followers get out of this arrangement. It’s like listening to the twit cheerleader on her second wine cooler telling everybody at the high school party they don’t know how tough the popular girls have it. You’ll hang out long enough if you think you have a chance of consoling her with a cock hug. When that opportunity fades you move on to the alt-girl cutting herself in the corner. That was always your better option. I remember when 75 million people used to read a daily newspaper. No I don’t. But I bet that’s true.

Photo Credit: GQ