Courtney Stodden Pregnant

Courtney Stodden is pregnant, presumably by her much older on again off again child rapist and SAG healthcare benefits provider. Stodden points to numerous difficulties with being pregnant at this time. Her troubled marriage, her born again mom revealing she wants to fuck her daughter’s husband, and the fact that her uterus is forty-seven years old and used to do the Fully Stuffed show at the Charlemagne Night Club just off the interstate. 

It’s a bittersweet time for me right now. I’m dealing with a lot of stress and emotions surrounding life and its ups and downs. Doug and I weren’t planning on going public with this so soon. I’m only four weeks along in my pregnancy. But some things are out of your control.”

That’s just the sexual abuse victim talking. You’re actually totally in control of your reproductive organs. You know how when you eat too many pretzels you no longer fit your revealing latex bodysuits? It’s like that, only pretzels are cocks finishing inside your twat. You’re smart to go public with your pregnancy before the pee dries on the stick. What could possibly go wrong? America adores a miscarriage. Write your working mommy book now. Nobody ever went broke overestimating the stupidity of the American public.

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