Johnny Manziel Keith Moon Status

Johnny Manziel will either be dead in six years or become a born again Christian on the 7-Eleven parking lot lecture circuit. He reportedly was at a family function and then disappeared via helicopter only to be spotted blacked out in a bar hours later smelling of skidmarks and discount jerky.

He’s clearly an addict yet nobody’s addressing the elephant in the room: perhaps he really loves drinking and has found his true calling. He wasn’t going to be on the Mount Rushmore of quarterbacks. Drinkers, possibly.

People in AA always speak of the frivolous nature of status and material possessions. Who better embodies that salt of the earth mentality than a drink yourself to death alcoholic. Often they can’t even pay rent. Talk about salt of the earth. Speaking of which it might be time to lay off on the helicopters, they tend to cut into the booze money. He will be missed, intermittently.

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