Lil Wayne Seizes Up

There’s actually a pretty serious drawback to having an unequivocal addiction to codeine syrup and most likely a closet case of the AIDS. Lil Wayne has been having pretty regular seizures on his private jet. If you’re going to flop around at least do it in style. He chugs sizzurp like it’s going out of style. He’s also one of the few musicians alive today who can actually play an instrument, so he’s one of the good guys. Show Rihanna a flute and she’ll probably stick it up her ass out of pure impulse. Don’t discount island girl corn-holing when you make your list of favorite things in this world.

Purple drank kills people. Contrary to popular belief it’s actually pretty hard to drink yourself to death via traditional booze. It can most certainly be done, but it’s not worth the effort. At this rate half the population is going to OD on pain pills. Let’s just agree we haven’t figured out how to handle this as a species and get them off the market. If you have back surgery now you’ll just have to swill a fifth of tequila. This is why we can’t have nice things. Which one of you has raped more, this one’s easy. 

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