Howard Stern Giving Guns to the Sheep

People who assume politicians have solid reasoning and comedians are lightweight thinkers have no real understanding of the IQ differential between the two, in favor of the guys who don’t hide their drinking and whoring. While elected representatives search for the perfect empty symbolism to appease the Facebook status updates of their constituents calling for a repeal of the 2nd Amendment, Howard Stern delivered a somewhat tortured, but entirely thoughtful sheep and wolf analogy as to why the sheep should desire the right to bear arms.

Well, baaaa. We’re not gonna do that. We don’t want to fight baaaack. He didn’t hurt uuuus. He only hurt the family down the streeet. And the shepherd will protect us, the sheepdogs are out there, they’ll protect us. Well, the sheepdogs are protecting you, but some of them can’t be with you all day. There’s not a sheepdog for every citizen, and a wolf is still eating one of you every night.

You can generally judge the profundity of an individual’s dwelling on a topic by the practicality of their solution. The 2nd Amendment isn’t being repealed in your lifetime. Americans love cars and guns just as much as they love weed and abortions. None of this shit is going away, right or left. Appoint a Czar to put an exclamation point on the utter futility of this line of thinking. It’s okay to lament. It’s less okay to repeat Tweeted slogans like incantations to make the bad feelings go away. Some problems have no practical answer.

Gun control doesn’t stop mentally disturbed secretly gay Islamic radicals from shooting up nightclubs on random occasion. Nor does wiping away every single gun prohibition law on the books. These Orlando partygoers are still dead. The only people who can thwart twisted fucks from going Taxi Driver are their family members or close acquaintances who are either too scared or too loyal to intervene before shit gets out of control. Mental health is a massive problem too large and confusing to be addressed with a platitude. So is cultural assimilation of immigrant populations. Probably better just to watch Anderson Cooper cry. It’s hard not to miss the days when people just punched each other in the face.