Jessica Alba Planned Pokies

Jessica Alba will do anything to distract from the news stories about her Honest Company’s sourcing product through the Axis Chemicals waste cauldron that produced The Joker. If you have to rub ice on your nipples to rescue your IPO, cowboy up and crack open the freezer. Jack Welch would’ve done the same. Though nobody would have stared and masturbated. Girls will do this at bachelor parties for ten dollar tips. Alba has tens of millions at stake. Wake me when the blow job lines begin forming outside the relevant Washington agencies. I’ve got laminated badges official looking enough to put myself in the mix.

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