Courtney Stodden No Longer With Child

There’s no joke to be had when a woman miscarries her unborn child. Though that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Courtney Stodden took to Twitter to announce the loss of her fetus. That does save money on long distance calls to relatives. You want to reach that guy in Kansas with the pregnancy fetish who’s been jacking to your engorged mammary selfies. Grief is no excuse for rudeness. Tweet that shit out while the cord is still moist.

It’s unclear how Stodden lost the child. It could be random twist of fate or the big fall she took when she hit a sprinkler head and the tremendous relative weight of her breast implants caused her to tumble forward onto her gestating offspring. That saved her old man having to rent horses for a day ride. You just have to be happy that the sensational self-exploitation of celebrity children on social media now extends to the womb, empty or full. When can we expect the next conception video? Planned Parenthood, clean up on aisle nine. I knew we could do this.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}