Tara Reid Heads Into A Restaurant, You Won’t Believe the 7th Thing She Didn’t Order on the Menu

Tara Reid has that pre-seizure silhouette where you need to set aside your body shaming pledge and sign the papers for a routine of Guantanamo forced hummus enemas. It was all fun and games when she was wasted outside children’s birthday parties and tattoo parlors. Contrary to movie lore, nobody drinks themselves to death at forty. However, Karen Carpenter went into terminal cardiac arrest at thirty-two from making ipecac her go-to meal replacement shake.

Tara Reid made reality news this week when the We channel’s Marriage Bootcamp revealed that Tara Reid and her boyfriend were faking a relationship in order to get on the show. It would be more scandalous if not entirely staged for the audience of women whose husbands are out fucking less fat women while they’re on the couch surfing the reality channels.

Make a list and challenge yourself to stay coma free. Four more Sharknado films and one or both of the Madden brothers. That doesn’t even include the high risk IVF pregnancy at forty-three because rescue dogs are tiresome. Dying to Be Thin has already been trademarked. Consider 22-Inch Wasted. Bowel movements are vastly overrated. 

_{Photo Credit: Splash}