Kevin Smith Troll Trap

Every reasonably smart person on social media promises they’re going to ignore the trolls, until they don’t. The bait is too fucking powerful. It’s like pussy, or whatever mostly fat people like even more than pussy. So cake and pussy.

Kevin Smith makes mostly shitty movies nobody watches because they’re all the same and meant for three guys in Jersey who might laugh this time. He’s a reasonably intelligent, well-spoken guy. He put his teen daughter Harley Quinn Smith into his latest movie, Yoga Hosers. Starring alongside Johnny Depp’s daughter. So, shit show you’re not supposed to want to see.

Some troll on Twitter called Smith’s daughter ugly and called Smith a cunt and a shitty filmmaker and wished them both cancer. Like a fucking worm dangling on the lure. Smith wrote back what every female media outlet is calling the perfect comeback, but even Smith’s balls know is total capitulation. Like sucking the dick of the troll and swallowing his load while he high fives his one friend with cystic fibrosis in his parent’s basement.

…my kid thought it was funny. “I’d be mad if I had a tiny dick and anonymous voice too,” she said, bemused by the bitterness. But here’s a nickel’s worth of free advice for folks like this Troll: if you hate me (or my kid) this much, the better use of your time is to make YOUR dreams come true, instead of slamming others for doing the same…

It’s an opus that goes on in much greater detail about exalting life rather than tearing it down. So like a troll dick sucking where you actually put some time and effort into it.

Smith is one of those guys who will tell people to change the fucking channel if they don’t like his content. And one of those guys who can’t do the same with trolls baiting him for response. No better than the celebrity chicks claiming they’re going to ignore the haters. They can’t. People who compulsively seek approval are the easiest kind of suckers. Behind every “I honestly couldn’t give a shit” is ten gallons of tears about to burst the damn. 

You’ve already named your daughter after the chick from Suicide Squad. Consider that her burden. Maybe encourage her into one of the Life Sciences or actuarial pursuits where nobody gets shitty mean Tweets. The perfect comeback is ignore. Also, don’t cast your daughter to costar with the daughter of an Italian model and a dude who looks like a really pretty girl. Maybe just you get cancer. Your daughter has original shit left to do.

_{Photo credit: Yoga Hosers}