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Lindsay Lohan Sells Her Soul to Turkey

September 28, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan signed away her publicity rights in Turkey to a made-up company with zero Google search results for the sum of two million dollars. The English on the transaction reported solely by Lohan, so assume it was twenty grand and maybe a case of Rak? up front. Microphones attached to nothing were laid on the table to pretend there were numerous press outlets interested in the deal. The dude to Lindsay’s right playing Clash of Clans now gets exclusive rights to use her name and likeness anywhere he wants in Turkey. Sort of like being able to pick out any toy you want in a 1974 Russian toy store. Do you want the rusty Lenin figurine or the broken Sputnik model with the flashing red light. Batteries not included. Or available within five hundred miles. 

Lohan signed the deals on heals of her ex-Russian meal ticket explaining how Lohan routinely stole his credit cards and used them to pay for all her expenses and to buy shit for her family. He dropped his financial bona fides as a fake investment advisor and even faker French movie director. Lohan retreated to a Syrian refugee camp in Turkey to hold a bunch of war torn children all of whom agreed they had brighter futures than Lindsay Lohan. Ungrateful bastards. Use that one credit card Egor forgot to cancel to buy those motherfuckers Greyhound tickets back to Aleppo. Only you get to rain on your parade.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Tags: lindsay lohan photos




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