Hugh Hefner Still Alive And Awful

If Hugh Hefner was in his prime right now he’d most likely be in jail for rape. Assuming he escaped the charges, he’d probably he a highly successful pariah. There’s not much middle ground. Society arbitrarily selects a few privileged white dudes and R Kellys for the sake of diversity and lets them run amok. Money doesn’t buy everything. But it buys freedom. That’s pretty much everything. Terry Richardson is clearly a predator but the fashion industry is made up of teasing masochists. Take the case of Victor Salva. He’s a film director who was convicted of videotaping and molesting a child who worked on one of his movies years back. Hollywood has punished him by allowing him to continue producing movies geared towards the demo of the kid he molested. Jeepers Creepers 3 is coming out next year. Tell the neighbors. If there’s one thing you should teach your children it’s one day you might need a lawyer. 

Cops were called to Hefner’s lair to check on him and the speculation was that he might be dead since he by all accounts should be dead. It’s ironic that Hefner is pawned off as the quintessential symbol of cool, since no man or woman in the continental US thinks he is actually cool. Perhaps every Persian dude. He walks around in his pajamas and pays whores to be his wife. He wears a captain’s hat. That should be all you need to know. When you’re ninety, or even in your mid-sixties, the bleach blonde dumb chick from Florida with the fake tits should not be your move. It’s pathetic on both of your parts. What you want is a chick in her thirties who’s a little rough around the edges and could plausibly actually enjoy blowing you. If you have to go Russian or something immigration related, by all means go for it. Leave her some money, she earned it. If you don’t have any real friends to tell you you’re ridiculous you’ll end up life Hefner. A buffoonish punchline with piss stained trousers dealing with annoying whores and their stupid little dogs instead of seeking enlightenment in your golden years. Probably still beats having a ninety year old wife. 

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