How Did We Miss the Amber Rose Slut Walk?

Matt and I are both on the Amber Rose mailing list for one purpose: not to miss the fucking Amber Rose Slut Walk Los Angeles each Fall. Somehow we each got tons of scammy merchandise emailers throughout the year, but were both removed from the list well in advance of the Slut Walk reminders. To much sorrow, we missed the Super Bowl of trashy women protesting being treated trashily. 

When your Slut Walk headlines career climbing cockgobblers like Blac Chyna, Kendra Wilkinson and Perez Hilton, you know you’ve hit a glass ceiling of your own making. The assorted midgets and geeks and tranny porn stars relatively classed up the joint as speaker after speaker yelled completely random feminist screed fragments into a microphone. Through the noticeable smell of amassed herpes blisters, Amber Rose reminded everybody assembled that her intent was to create a judgement free space. She was less on point on the reminders about her organizing the annual event to put cash in her pocket. A gang of whores will eventually start robbing each other.

Like most inane protests, there’s a kernel of validity to the underlying message. Simply because women may dress provocatively and drink and perhaps have loose reputations doesn’t mean it’s okay to manhandle them in any way. Decent men already understand this while the smaller number of indecent men don’t give a shit what you write on your naked body, they only see titties for the taking. Don’t be an asshole messages are inherently futile. Amber Rose is banking a career ricochet off the zeitgeist of amorphous gender equality.

If a woman in a bustier yells stuff, it must have meaning. Fake tits are the new burning of the bra. if Betty Friedan had injected centrifuged hog fat into her derriere Jennifer Lawrence could be earning twenty million on her next picture rather than eighteen. Snake oil salesman are now women. This is what true equality looks like. Also the fat naked chicks in these photos.

 _{Photo Credit: Splash}