Shia LeBeouf Hipster Liar

When Shia LeBeouf married his girlfriend Mia Goth in a seedy Las Vegas drive through chapel the six people who cared assumed it was a bullshit hipster stunt he stole from one of James Franco’s diary entries. It was also streamed live on the internet and sent to TMZ, which LeBeouf insists was a mistake: 

“I said, ya know we don’t really need that as a matter of fact. We’ll just take our private tape we got our Moms there and they said no problem. We get back home and it’s like, whoa… Hey listen, something changed! I call them up and they said somebody pressed the wrong button that sends the video to TMZ.” 

Yes we all know how computers these days come with that pesky TMZ button. It’s possible someone at the Viva Vegas Wedding Chapel lied to LeBeouf and sold TMZ the tape for a hundred bucks and their dignity, in fact that’s almost certain. When you pay sixty dollars for your wedding and the minister is railing lines off the podium you’re not dealing with the most trustworthy individuals. Yet LeBeouf lives for shitty faux art and is intent on proving how different he is with pathetic gestures such as wearing socks with flip flops. This is right up his ally. It would be like Charlie Sheen claiming someone stole his cell phone to call a hooker. There’s also no record of the couple being officially married. This is what happens when you tell kids they’re special. If you see him out trick or treating run him over with your car. Say the two of you were collaborating on a public art project. 

_{Photo Credit: TMZ}