Jobs That Suck: Mexican Judge (VIDEO)

If this election cycle proves anything, it’s that the robots don’t have a big hill to climb to take over. All those dystopian universe novels where plucky rebels fight the Matrix are based on a premise of highly-involved, independent thinkers. How many of those do you see around? Nevertheless, put in the context sandwich of North America, the U.S. is still the fucking meat. Canada is taxing the shit out of beer and cigarettes, the only two reasons the suicide rate is below 100-percent. While Mexico remains that shittiest house on the block with weeds in the front, a broken rusted metal gate, and a waft of meth mixed with stale beans.

Mexico released the CCTV tapes of Judge Vicente Bermudez Zacarias being shot in the back of the head while jogging in an upscale section of his hometown in Mexico. The Judge recently oversaw a case involving El Chapo, the re-imprisoned diminutive Sinaloan drug cartel chieftain. It’s a strong lead. That or a neighborhood kid pulling hijinks for YouTube clicks.

If you’ve ever seen one of those movies where the criminal overlords are impossible to overcome because they own, threaten, or kill every single significant public official or law enforcement officer, that’s Mexico. Hillary Clinton is taking all kinds of money from all kinds of people to do all kinds of favors. She’s not running point on streaming cocaine across the border for a narco traffickers. Though she might consider it for the right split. And a decent position in the hierarchy for her lesbian lover.

Dr. Seuss’ Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? needs some geopolitical updating. The U.S. is in a weak division. A couple good drafts and we’re right back in contention. I realize the Browns say that every year too.