Subway Jared’s Ex Wants a Taste (VIDEO)

Jared Fogle’s second ex-wife is suing Subway because she claims the fast food franchise knew all along her husband was a creepy sex offender but kept it from both Americans who love shitty cheap food and herself. 

Katie McLaughlin claims Subway had reports back as far as 2004 that Jared was propositioning young girls for sexy time using his cool Jared from Subway persona. If you can’t be with Ronald McDonald, why not let Uncle Jared and his weight loss odyssey take that cherry. It’s a pitch. McLaughlin’s suit claims Subway barely pursued three separate “girl propositioning” reports. Also that in early 2015, Subway used her and her kids likeness be used in an animated “Jared” commercial knowing full well the cloud of conspiratorial pedophilia hanging over her then husband.

That seems like a reach. Doubtful the ad agency for Subway would be green-lighting expensive Jared campaigns if they knew his computers rife with kiddy porn were moments from being confiscated by the FBI. Also, cartoon likenesses aren’t exactly actual likenesses and the repercussions to you and your kids are more likely related to the underlying mistake of marrying and producing offspring with a dude with fucked up sexual proclivities. Still, Subway does over $9 billion in sales. They’re going to tear off a check to make this shit go away.

I have a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old who ask me about jail and where their father is. I will not lie to my kids and as they get older they will ask more questions and I want to answer them.

Um, no. Dad died in the war fighting ISIS. He saved many lives. If I’m on the jury, I’m awarding you mega cash but you must promise to lie to your kids. Why the fuck do they need that? Use the money to buy a new life for yourself and the children. Consider Paraguay. The foot-long jokes behind your back won’t seem as offensive in a foreign language.

_{Photo credit: NBC News}