Mariah Carey Demanding Money

This Mariah Carey thing is really complicated. First off her tits cause her to have to crawl off the ceiling of the airplane when it reaches cruising altitude.

She was apparently not fucking her fiance, the trust fund Australian William Randolph Hearst who is one of the only guys who shops for strippers based on name brand. Apparently he became sort of a scientologist, confirming speculation that he’s probably gay. Save your Packer jokes this is a clean site. Or he’s just really straight and into nightmarish fat chicks, you decide. I

t’s unclear how a divorce settlement is possible when there’s no marriage involved but at this point in time women are permitted to extort shit they didn’t earn and then blog about their plight on the Huffington Post. She wants $50 million and for him to buy her a house. Fat chance. If we’d been fucking I’d still laugh in your face. Go ahead and lawyer up. You’ve clearly spent all your money on kobe beef and horse hair extensions. This entitlement culture is out of control. Was it that fucking hard to eat and lip synch? You need a pre-nup for dry humping now? 

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