Mariah Carey Wants Her Fair Share

Mariah Carey is seeking revenge on her ex-fiance the best way possible, inflating her breasts and cinching her waist until her duodenom becomes clogged with last night’s Pepperidge Farm binge.

According to people who probably don’t know shit, settlement talks between Mariah Carey and James Packer have completely broken down. Carey had reportedly asked for fifty million dollars for splitting with the Australian real estate mogul she refused to fuck until they were contractually married. The singer claims she spent a good deal of her time with James Packer being dragged around to business meetings with world VIPs to help Packer secure deals. No word on giving any Bahraini heads of state the full Mottola.

Carey wants a piece of the action and might sue. Packer has decided he doesn’t owe Carey shit. Though his reps did concede that if he does pay her money it will simply be to shut up and go away. So, precisely what she’s asking for. You’ve already lost, Packer. You’re a billionaire with a yacht and you can’t even get laid. See Trump. You’re not winning.

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