Black Friday Death Count Stands at Zero… For Now (VIDEO)

Nothing culls the herd quite like good Christians trampling the shit out of each other to get thirty dollars off a Playstation. The mega box stores do a song and dance every year about alleviating the physical pounding by and between largely savage women queued up for hours in the cold to achieve consumer orgasm. But they love this shit.

The gladiator milieu only enhances the passion for purchasing among the subset of the population for whom shopping lists are the better part of their self worth. It’s no sadder than watching the weaker gazelle taken down by a lioness. Nature needs to eat. Cold, dispassionate. This is fucking Target. Start the count.