Heidi Klum Nipples Like Holiday Gum Drops

It’s hard to put your finger on precisely how Heidi Klum differs from your typical early Black Friday morning 40-something shoppers. The lack of human carnage around her feet has to be one. The ability to go braless without herniating her entire throax with sixty pounds of violently bouncing BBW has to be another. Nobody has perfect posture at Target. Even the mannequins are bent from osteoporosis.

Heidi Klum remains perfect. Blond, slender, wealthy, and enough of an accent to make her adorable, without having to repeat herself when ordering ice cream. She fucks young men and shops unfettered on the busiest consumer day of the year. Her dumps likely comes out as perfect potpourri gifts. There’s warts in there somewhere. You should be so lucky to get them.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}