Lena Dunham Sticking With Same Material for 2017

You could imagine Lena Dunham’s unattractive fat girl oppression theme isn’t working because ninety-nine percent of people find her abhorrent. But Dunham knows the other one-percent are rich connected women in New York and Los Angeles who provide her magazine covers and a TV show that nobody watches but still pays her quite well. Who’s getting the last laugh? Dunham, and there’s cheesecake bits coming through her nose.

Glamour magazine, which contributes significantly to making fragile women stop eating altogether, produced an issue featuring Dunham and the cast of Girls in an issue dedicated to loving your female self no matter how much you eat or refuse to exercise or diddle your little baby sister for amusing memoir anecdotes. Glamour proudly announced this issue was 100% produced by women. So, illegal gender discrimination. Or as it would become known around the office, a bad day for that one gay dude who used to work on Glamour.

Glamour’s big promo hook was that Lena Dunham was allowed to highlight her cellulite un-retouched. So, a policy similar to the world’s least frequented brothel. Dunham spent a thousand words talking about empowering herself and the brutality of her upbringing in New York and Connecticut private schools as a girl who never looked quite right. Then laid down some righteous feminist freestyles:

Haters are gonna have to get more intellectual and creative with their disses in 2017 because none of us are going to be scared into muumuus by faceless basement dwellers, or cruel blogs, or even our partners and friends.

Even your friends and that weird guy who is inexplicably fucking you is telling you to wear long pants to the beach? They could all be victims of the cruel and false expectations of female looks as espoused by, oh, I don’t know, Glamour magazine. Or, it’s possible that all the reasonably intelligent people around you are onto something. The difference between not selling out to fit in and being a pretentious asshole is about fifty Ring Dings®. The onus is on you to up your game in 2017. Your 2016 killed Hillary.